To stay and watch, or let them go
All Things Dance
02 Dec 2019
To stay and watch, or let them go.
It’s a tricky debate, we get it.
They are only 4! You want to watch them enjoy every last minute of that dance lesson.
It’s just so cute. Did you see that move? You don’t want to miss a thing!
It’s hard to not watch, to not be present for all the moments, to not be available for any tears or consoling. You just want to be there to clap and cheer them on from the sidelines, you’re just bursting with pride.
We get it.
But think back mums and dads, to those times at daycare, at grandmas, first day at kindy. When the teacher would say, “they were fine 5 minutes after you left, and they had a great day”.
You were confused, how could that be true, they are so needy for me! ALL. THE. TIME!
Part of you wondered, are they saying that to make me feel ok, but now is my child traumatised for life?
But for the most part they were absolutely right. Kids are ok when we are not around, in fact, you hear a lot about how a child concentrated better, participated more, and just joined in the fun more when mum or dad weren’t around.
Why is that?
Well, it’s because they are learning to be ok without you. An extremely important life skill. Sure, it can feel forced upon them, but we are the only people standing in their way of becoming independent little souls, able to handle life in this big wild world without mum or dad right by their side. Kids actually love to make their own decisions. And play out of your view where they can immerse themselves fully in their imagination. Don’t you remember all the times you snuck down the hallway trying to listen to their little conversations? It’s their beautiful little world, where they feel no judgement, no one watching, no one to try and please.
It can also be incredibly daunting for some little ones when there are strange adults watching them. It’s one thing when it’s mum and dad, but all the other mums and dads watching to can build anxiety in even the most confident kids. Sometimes they just need a safe place where its just them, and the other boys and girls trying to dance just like they are.
And then think mums and dads, how excited their little faces are when they get to tell you all about it. This is when you can show them your pride. This is when you can congratulate them for being so brave and confident. This is when you can truly listen to them tell you the story without knowing every little thing that went on already.
You don’t have to see every moment to know how wonderful it was.
They will fill you in on all the little details. Just give them that chance. You might even enjoy it!